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Pilot episode[]
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Mathematical! |
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Whoa! Algebraic! |
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Rhombus! Iceclops! |
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MY HAT IS AWESOME! |
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Season 1[]
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I'm hanging the piñatas... They are all around you! Smash the piñatas! |
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Candy People explode when they get scared? |
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Slamacow! That was tops! Who's not good at math? I was all, "Four!" |
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Tree Trunks, I'm all jacked up because of you. Look at my jacked up face! |
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—"Tree Trunks" |
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Is that what you think adventurers do? Die and make all your friends feel terrible 'cause they couldn't save you?! |
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—"Tree Trunks" |
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Do you think I have the goods, Bubblegum? Because I am into this stuff! |
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Shmow-zow! |
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I'll slay anything that's evil. That's my deal! |
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I'm not righteous. I'm wrong-teous. Stupid-teous. |
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Baby, I know what you crave. |
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—"The Jiggler" |
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Let's get this party started! |
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—"The Jiggler" |
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I'll never kidnap again. |
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—"The Jiggler" |
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I'm not jealous. I'm weird! |
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Uhh.... She hates me now. |
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HEY PRINCESS, WANT TO DO THE SCIENCE DANCE WITH ME? |
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I feel radder, faster... more adequate! |
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I'm Princess Bubblegum and I'm a dork because I like science. I've also got a really annoying voice that Finn thinks is attractive! |
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Youth culture forever! |
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—"Wizard" |
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Are you gonna smash my skull and breathe my blood mist? |
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—"Evicted!" |
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No worms on the bed! |
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—"Evicted!" |
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It's vampire fighting time! |
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—"Evicted!" |
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Get ready for an uppercut, you dog! |
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—"Evicted!" |
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Stealing's wrong, doofus! |
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Holy stuff! It talked! Wow-cow-chow! |
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What?! You gotta be flipping kidding me! |
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(to Fear Feaster) I'm no wuss! I'm the hero around these parts! |
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Yeah, it's pretty math... you psychopath! |
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Eat my sword, Ice King! |
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I'm weddy for the wedding. |
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And I felt happy for that son of a toot! |
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Heh. Yeah, right. That sounds like idiot talk. |
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—"Dungeon" |
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I'm a radical boy on the mission for the Crystal Eye! |
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—"Dungeon" |
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Whoa, somebody pick up your freaky cat. |
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—"Dungeon" |
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How did you almost know my name? |
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—"Dungeon" |
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Slaps, that cat was kicking my buns, and it might've finished my buns it if weren't for Jake's stank. |
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—"Dungeon" |
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Don't flaunt it if you're not gonna give it up. |
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—"Dungeon" |
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All aboard the knuckle train to Fist Planet! |
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—"Dungeon" |
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Okay, just this once, we'll be vigilantes! |
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—"The Duke" |
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Nuts, I'm freakin' all about sugar... but I'm even more all about feeding hobos! |
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—"Freak City" |
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Not to scorn the kicking of people in the crotch? |
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—"Freak City" |
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Kim, I will destroy you! |
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—"Freak City" |
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You're the sis, sis. |
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—"Freak City" |
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Word! Now let's go wreck up that Magic Man! |
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—"Freak City" |
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Safety! Patrol! |
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—"Donny" |
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Shushers, man! |
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—"Donny" |
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Slam-bam-in-a-can! |
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—"Donny" |
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Have more apple juice. It always makes me feel better when I--Aw! Donny! Quit being a jerk! |
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—"Donny" |
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Hands off the housing market! |
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—"Donny" |
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Werewolves: much worse than ogres. |
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—"Donny" |
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I couldn't let that old man suffer, Jake. My code of honor wouldn't allow it. |
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—"Henchman" |
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That sounds bombastic, honey! |
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—"Henchman" |
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She's a radical dame who likes to play games! |
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—"Henchman" |
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You still up for pixie strangling tomorrow? |
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—"Henchman" |
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Imagination is for turbo-nerds who can't handle how kick-butt reality is! |
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What the hey-hey? |
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That riddle sucks. |
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I can feel them on my face! Imaginary poison coursing through my veins! |
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Makes sense: you do bad stuff, I punish you! |
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Season 2[]
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I'm not evil, Marceline's dad. I'm super good! |
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Marceline, release the Finn bomb! |
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Well, this ant's about to get in his pants! |
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Nobody flicks me in the butt without my consent! |
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I'll see you in the Nightosphere, you sick freak! |
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I'm also exhausted emotionally, or wait, I mean physically. |
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No more pajamas! |
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—"Power Animal" |
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I'm not dead. I'm just all crystal stiff. |
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Does it have to be princess hair? |
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'Here lies Princess Beautiful. She was so beautiful... but died of baldness?!' Dang it! |
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JJ Flip! What the zip? |
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—"Her Parents" |
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He just really likes ice cream. |
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—"The Pods" |
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Glitter on its own could be evil, but with rainbows... over my dead body! |
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—"The Pods" |
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Don't just lick stuff! |
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—"The Pods" |
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That doesn't fair well for their... grade point average. |
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—"The Pods" |
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It's freaking adorable. |
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—"The Pods" |
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I'm killing you with ice cream! |
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—"The Pods" |
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I'm not gonna spank your hams! |
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Wands are for wimps! |
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Die, you fire! |
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—"The Real You" |
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The library of the undead! |
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—"The Real You" |
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I'll just read this book about pigs. |
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—"The Real You" |
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Jake, we're going to college! |
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—"The Real You" |
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I can't help it, man! I'm all about stupid! |
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—"The Real You" |
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Everything small is just a small version of something big! I understand everything! |
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—"The Real You" |
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I'm better than okay. I know exactly how to impress the princess. |
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—"The Real You" |
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I'm going to blow your minds. |
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—"The Real You" |
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A 4-dimensional bubble casts a 3-dimensional shadow! It is beyond comprehension! Beyond space! Beyond time! |
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—"The Real You" |
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Yes! And their brains are releasing adrenaline, dopamine, even dimethyltryptamine from the pineal gland! This has serious educational value! Thanatophobia and this N.D.E. is giving us euphoric altered awareness! Don't you see, Princess? We were all born to die! |
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—"The Real You" |
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What? No way. I'm, like, the smartest guy in Ooo thanks to these glasses. |
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—"The Real You" |
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Huh, knew what? I wrote that list when I was insane with smartness. |
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—"The Real You" |
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Up, down, left, left, right, right, down, spin, down, up, left, right, left, down, spin, up, down, jump! |
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BMO, this game is the worst! |
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If I were really in this game, I would crush Sam, breezily, with my mitts! |
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Oh, man, BMO, you gotta let us in that game! |
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I'm looking at my bits, dude. My leg is math! |
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Let's go kick their digital boo-tays! |
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Bouncy Bee, Hunny Bunny, they're all hard as butts. |
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(to Death) Your brain is stupid! |
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You're going down or both of us are going down! |
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No, the murderer is right here among us. |
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Marceline, would you do me the honor of getting the plop outta here? |
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—"Go With Me" |
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Marceline... of course! It's been Marceline all along! |
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—"Go With Me" |
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I wish for... the Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant! |
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—"The Limit" |
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No, I'm not! I've got a sweater on! |
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—"Mortal Folly" |
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Come on, man! That's pervy! |
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Thirteen years old? That's how old I am. |
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Uh, bleach, lighter fluid, ammonia, gasoline, I dunno. Lady stuff... Plutonium... |
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This stink up's mega bamm-bamm to the J-Stop! |
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Season 3[]
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But strength isn't your strength. Adorable cuteness is! |
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Hoc habet! |
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Eludere! |
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I'm a buff baby who can dance like a man! |
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Puncha yo buns, puncha yo buns! |
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So spice! So spice! |
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—"Too Young" |
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What the huh? |
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—"Too Young" |
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That's bunk! Right, Pree-bos? |
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—"Too Young" |
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Yeah, like pranking him up his face! |
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—"Too Young" |
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Easy as childbirth. |
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—"The Monster" |
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I'd rather sanctify PB's lips. |
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I'll get your kid back, toy. |
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Aw, dude! I broke my stems! |
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Yo! Is everyone in church? Worshiping Glob? |
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Give it up, Me-Mow! You're only making my face look cooler! |
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That idiot's about to walk into the sun. |
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One, two, three, four, five, four. Over the mountain, the ominous cloud. Coming to cover the land in a shroud. Hide in a bushel, a basement, a cave. But when cloud comes a hunting, no ones a save, uh, safe. Cloud hunt, gotcha! |
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I'll fly the paper, as an airplane, down the bedroom ladder. It'll triple barrel-roll past the kitchen, open the fridge, and cook some eggs; then eat the eggs and unfold itself as it lays on the carpet in front of Marceline's door. |
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Disguise yourself, fool! [...] What the-? Dude! You shape-changed to look like me? |
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My way! |
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—"Another Way" |
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Jake! You looted?! That's bad, man! You're supposed to be good cop. |
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Gold-darn you, tear ducts! Yah! Yah! |
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—"Incendium" |
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Dude, I think I have a crush. |
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—"Incendium" |
Season 4[]
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She ain't evil. She's passionate. Help me track her down. |
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Oh Jake, Look at her. She’s innocent… like the steam off a puppy’s nose searching for a ham in the snow. |
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I'm not trying to. I just like you. I think I... I think I like like you. Listen, when I look at you my brain goes all stupid, and I just want to hug you and sit on the couch and play BMO with you. I can't explain why, but I never felt this way and I think we should be together. |
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Why can't I just like a girl? |
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No, man. I'll stunt you out! |
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—"Web Weirdos" |
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Marceline. No one... leaves the Nightosphere! |
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We never went steady. |
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Hey. What the jug is that? |
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—"Hug Wolf" |
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I'll hug your mom! |
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—"Hug Wolf" |
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Oh, whoa so, that means Stormo is like... my son? |
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—"Goliad" |
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Where did you go, Simon? |
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You better get back in the Spirit Hole, dead one. |
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Jake! Kerploop! |
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—"Gotcha!" |
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LSP... you don't need a mirror to know you look good. (sheathes his sword and grabs Lumpy Space Princess' "dress.") You're beautiful on the inside. Like... your brain and stuff! |
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—"Gotcha!" |
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Alvin's hot juice box! Alvin's hot juice box! |
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"Uh... Can my Cool Dog and Ancient Scholar defeat your Husker Knights? |
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—"Card Wars" |
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I floop the Pig! |
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—"Card Wars" |
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I activate my Ancient Scholar.... to begin studying and I also move my pig to the Cave of Solitude sooo he can take a nap. |
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—"Card Wars" |
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Well, for one, I think this house is a reflection of your sick brain. |
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—"Sons of Mars" |
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Bubblegum, I can't do this anymore! |
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—"Burning Low" |
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Now you like me? |
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—"Burning Low" |
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What am I talking about? PB, I was—I was in love with you, okay?! And, you didn't love me back. Now I'm ready to move on, and it's like you're gonna build me up all over again! Well, I'm done! I'm done. |
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—"Burning Low" |
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...Your wavelengths are my weakness. Your emissions are what I've been missing. |
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—"Burning Low" |
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(To weakened Flame Princess) Eh h-hey, what's wrong!? Please say something. Nhgh. Please, I need you... Nhhgh to be okay. |
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—"Burning Low" |
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"Get out of my house, King Worm!" |
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—"King Worm" |
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Princess, Ricardo's alive, he's in the black ice caves and he's peacocking hardcore! |
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Let's crush this mess all accordingly! |
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—"You Made Me" |
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I want bionic legs! |
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Naked babies! Naked babies! Naked babies! |
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I call fire patrol! |
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Shmow-tow, dude! That guy's gonna dingle our bones into tapioca pudding! |
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You messed up-ed, Billy! |
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—"The Lich" |
Season 5[]
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I wish...The Lich... never, even ever existed! |
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Wait... Wha... Why would The Lich... Jake! Something messed up is happening! |
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—"Jake the Dog" |
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Oh, what a good boy am I! |
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Sometimes a man, just got to retrieve it's own disk... |
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—"Up a Tree" |
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I, ate a magic apple by mistake... |
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—"Up a Tree" |
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How 'bout BMO and Ice King? (Jake asks) Would they make a good couple? |
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(while watching the little people) I did not sleep. |
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Hello! Hello, hello, helloo...... ahhhhhHHH (voice scales through several autotuned octaves) (Davey's voice) Hello! I'm Davey! |
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—"Davey" |
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Hey Jake, hey Lady. |
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—"Jake the Dad" |
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Do the splits, thou milk-livered maggot pie! |
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Oh crab it to the butternuts, it's locked! |
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Man, I don't have patience for this animation junk. Whoever does this must have no life whatsoeve--. |
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Escape, Jake, escape! |
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(to Ice King) STOP TALKING LIKE A NERD AND GIVE IT TO US STRAIGHT!!! |
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Ahem... Hey, Bubs, where's the Ice King? I want to kick his boingloings! |
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I guess I'm just thinking about Flame Princess. I told her a joke the other day and she didn't even laugh or anything. Guess it's over between us. |
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—"Puhoy" |
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Oh, well... I... have a girlfriend. |
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—"Puhoy" |
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(as adult Finn) Alphanumeric! Pillow sheep! You have more fluff than sense! |
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—"Puhoy" |
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(as dying Finn) I remember... back... when I was dad. |
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—"Puhoy" |
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I've been going foot nude in the shoe and now I got this turbo huge callous. |
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Hey, it's okay BMO, look, Jake and I will make you a funny face. |
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We're documenting our creative flow in case we make a break through. |
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Yeah, its good, but if we want to be "James Baxter" good, we gotta go deeper. |
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We know to figure out how to make our sound force happiness into the listener! |
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(written) Bringeth it on, sir! |
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—"Shh!" |
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Oh, I win! You're so disappointed. |
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—"Shh!" |
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We were just playing a game, BMO. It all started this morning when Jake made a sign that said- |
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—"Shh!" |
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Oh cool, that's cool you're dating, that's coool, see ya princess. |
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—"The Suitor" |
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What'ya think of that Braco guy? I mean, he seems kinda weird, and passive and baby lambish, and too unheroic for Peebs. *looks behind him and is shocked* And then I smash that peach! |
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—"The Suitor" |
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That road you're on leads to nowhere. |
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—"The Suitor" |
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You wanna join my primitive noise band? |
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—"One Last Job" |
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(feminine voice) Hello? Oh! Is that the machine part that I ordered? |
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(writing) Ac-cep-tance. |
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O-ho-ho, was it? Then how do you explain tomorrow's newspaper? |
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Jake. A crime has been committed. We must find the criminal. |
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Hmm. LSP's injuries were 100 percent emotional. So it has to belong to Pete Sa-something. BMO, take a sample and do a full blood analysis. (in a Jersey accent) The works. (normal accent) Hey, if that guy cut himself during the robbery, he might have gone somewhere to buy a mini adhesive bandage. There's a drugstore across the street! |
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What the-?! Jake! What's with all the turning into stuff today? |
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Roll the dice, you pay the price. |
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Man, we didn't just crack that case, we crunched it! Crumbled it! |
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Trespassers get killed mad quick, like zap-zap. |
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"Entanglement" is a spell where you get trapped in tree roots, and sometimes they spike out and hook your flesh, and you got to be like, "My body is clay, my spirit feels no pain." Then you chop your way out and kill the wizard! |
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Is PB straight-up naked right now? |
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I got traumatized by those underpanties. |
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Your magicks are powerful, PB. |
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Yeah, BMO, show me the stuff, keep it coming! |
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—"Jake Suit" |
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C'mon bro, taking pain is easy. You just have to imagine that every bruise is a hickey from the Universe. And everyone wants to get with the Universe. |
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—"Jake Suit" |
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Dude, I'm graceful. Mom raised me graceful. |
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—"Jake Suit" |
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Dude, what the bjork? |
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—"Jake Suit" |
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Jake, it's my special occasion phone! Someone's calling me to tell me about a special occasion. |
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—"Jake Suit" |
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Bring it! Yeah, baby, feels good, love it, lovin' that heat on my skull! |
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—"Jake Suit" |
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It was weird but I liked it. |
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—"Frost & Fire" |
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Naw, that's all fine. I just been feeling kind of... gray, is all. Like my inside voice has been kinda quiet lately. Not a lot of instructions forthcoming, y'know? |
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Dating girls is like riding a bicycle. If you mess up you could get really hurt forever or hurt someone you really care about. |
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I found it in the woods. I named it "Hot Daniel." Anyway, I figured we could do some pretty sick stuff with it. |
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Come forth, wizard, and uncurse my mitt! Grassy Mountain Wizard! |
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Don't worry, FP, your boy Finn won't fail you. |
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Off the dome, here we go. Uh! I'm-a start it now. I'm-a battle now. We gonna make a rhyme, so I can rap this time. I rap for millions... [beat] sesquipedalians. |
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Season 6[]
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Dude, I found out my human dad is still alive. |
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—"Wake Up" |
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Why'd you abandon me in the forest when I was a little baby??? |
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Thanks a lot, DADDYTheHunter56717171 (talk)!!! AMBATAKUMMMMM AHHHHHH! |
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—"The Tower" |
Season 7[]
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Mm. An hour to capture, aaand, if we don't [unknown] by dinner, we'll tell KOO to send out a Banana Guard patrol. |
” |
—"Mama Said" |